Clouds
Nephologists are the first to admit that if anything’s to be done with clouds it’s talk about them. There are only two categories of clouds but that doesn’t make things easier. For instance, is cumulonimbus incus a convective or layered cloud? Which would you rather be?1 Personally, I never met a cloud I didn’t like. In China pink clouds are a symbol of happiness. God led the Israelites as a pillar of cloud, just because he could. If you’re “on cloud nine” you are in a state of bliss. You see what I’m getting at.2
Caterpillars
Some people think they can just become lepidoptera. I say not so fast. Try being a caterpillar for a while and see if you like it. Hindus look on the caterpillar as a symbol of inadequacy.3 In North American Native folklore, however, the caterpillar is equated with sexual awakening. That’s weird, but personally very helpful. Silk comes from a type of caterpillar, but I won’t tell you which. A caterpillar, if he plays his cards right, can become a butterfly, which is generally pretty and can fly. That’s nice, but he’s still a butterfly.
Turkeys
Turkeys are unfortunate creatures and they don’t even know it.4 Mexicans ate them for Thanksgiving long before we did. To the Native American eye the Turkey’s neck swellings suggested female fertility. This was before optometry. Turkey meat contains an amino acid called tryptophan. People with bigger things to worry about say it causes drowsiness. It does not. Conversation with extended family causes drowsiness. When a Toltec saw a turkey he reached for his umbrella. This didn’t confuse the turkey any more than anything else did.
1 Trick question. I don’t care.
2 Clouds are also symbols of fertility, if nothing else is handy.
3 That’s not all they do.
4 Show me a turkey and I’ll show you an idiot.
